Learning to be kinder to yourself

Showing yourself compassion

Written by Kayla Prange

We often extend patience, understanding, and encouragement to the people we care about, but struggle to offer ourselves that same kindness. 

When you make a mistake, fall short of a goal, or have a difficult day, what do you say to yourself? For many of us, our inner voice can become much harsher than the way we would ever speak to someone else. 

Being kinder to yourself doesn’t mean ignoring areas where you want to grow. It means learning to recognize that you can make mistakes, experience difficult emotions, and still treat yourself with compassion. 

Notice Your Inner Voice 

Start paying attention to how you talk to yourself throughout the day. When you notice thoughts like “I should have done better” or “I always mess things up,” pause and ask yourself: Would I say this to someone I care about? 

If not, try replacing it with something more balanced: “I didn’t handle that the way I wanted to, but I can learn from it.” 

Give Yourself Permission to Be Human 

You will have difficult days. You will make mistakes. You may not always have the energy, patience, or motivation you wish you had. 

That doesn’t make you lazy, inadequate, or a failure. It makes you human.

Practice Self-Compassion 

Being compassionate toward yourself can be as simple as acknowledging what you’re experiencing instead of immediately criticizing it. 

Try asking: 

● What am I feeling right now? 

● What do I need? 

● What would I say to a friend going through this? 

● How can I offer myself some of that same understanding?

Self-compassion is not something you have to master overnight. It is a practice, and it’s one that can become easier with time and intention. 

You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of kindness, including your own.

Sometimes, the most important relationship to work on is the one you have with yourself.